


Close Your Eyes

by BigBadWolfe



Category: Holby City
Genre: 5 Times, But mostly fluff, F/F, Fluff, a bit angsty, pure and utter fluff, very brief mention of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 04:52:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7744054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigBadWolfe/pseuds/BigBadWolfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Bernie and Serena surprised each other. </p>
<p>(Lots and lots of fluff. Written for the lovely 'mrseleanorohara' on tumblr who prompted me with 'Close your eyes and hold out your hands'.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This is an awful lot of fluff that makes not a lot of sense. TW for a mention of death. Hope you enjoy!

 

1)

“What are you eating?” Serena asked her suddenly from over her shoulder, and Bernie wondered how she did it, nearly falling off of her chair in surprise as Serena appeared out of nowhere.

“N’thin,” she mumbled as she covered her mouth with her hand, trying not to spray biscuit crumbs. She directed her gaze back down to the file she’d been considering earlier, pointedly avoiding Serena’s gaze that she could feel hotly on the back of her neck.

Watching Serena stalk towards the biscuit tin, its lid rested incriminatingly against its side, Bernie slowly wheeled her chair away from her. She was sure if she could just get a little further, she’d be in the clear for running straight out the door before Serena realised anything.

“You had the last one!” Serena pounced on her before she could make a move, her foot resting against one of the wheels of her chair as she stopped her in her tracks. She glared down at her, arms crossed over her chest. “You know they’re my favourite”.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

Serena leant closer before her gaze intensified, zeroing in on the almost imperceptible movement of Bernie's jaw.

“You’re eating it now!”

“No ‘m not,” Bernie mumbled, swallowing hurriedly. “See,” she stuck her tongue out at her, “nothing there”.

Abruptly, Serena grabbed both of Bernie’s hands and tugged her to her feet, leaning up on her tiptoes until they were nose to nose. Serena tilted her head as she looked at her, eyes darting down to Bernie’s lips as a sly smirk spread across her face.

Bernie breathed out sharply with the closeness of her, stumbling forward.

“Ha!” Serena crowed triumphantly as she backed off, leaving Bernie to slump back against the desk. “I knew it! I can smell it on your breath”.

Bernie stared at her incredulously as her heart beat furiously. “You make it sound like I’ve been drinking on the job”.

“Oh no, this is much worse,” Serena jabbed at her, finger prodding against Bernie’s stomach with every word. “I was in a hobnob kind of mood and you’ve denied me my fix. There’ll be hell to pay now and it’s all your fault”.

…

Serena wondered if Bernie was hiding from her, having not seen her about for the past twenty minutes. She was sure she hadn’t scared Bernie off, had definitely thrown much worse than that at her and still she’d remained, and yet –

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands”.

Clutching a hand to her chest, Serena turned round sharply to look up at Bernie. Frowning at her appearance, she watched the first beads of sweat break across her forehead and her hair, which had been pulled into a ponytail, spilled across her face.

“I’ve told you,” Serena huffed at her as she patted her chest, “can you please wear louder shoes? You’re going to give me a coronary at some point”.  

Bernie clutched her hands behind her back, swaying back and forth on the balls of her feet. Her grin was yet to slip.

“Close your eyes, and hold out your hands,” Bernie instructed her once again.

Holding out her outstretched palms in Bernie’s directions, she fixed her with a stern look although her heart lurched with utter adoration as Bernie looked at her imploringly.

“I swear if you do anything ridiculous-“

“Please?”

Serena sighed and closed her eyes. She heard Bernie move across the room, could feel her stand in front of her before something dropped into her hands.

Opening her eyes, Serena peered down at the packet of hobnobs in her hands. A smile spread across her face as she laughed, looking up at Bernie who shifted restlessly from foot to foot.

“Where did you manage to get hold of these?” Serena laughed, as she settled back into her chair, glad when Bernie perched on the end of her desk.

“Tesco’s down the road is still open”.

“That’s a fair old walk-“

“I ran it,” Bernie grinned, shrugging at Serena’s comically shocked expression. “Needed the exercise and I couldn’t have you complaining for the rest of the night”.

Rolling her eyes, Serena opened the packet and happily demolished two of them before rolling closer to Bernie, looking up at her with an impish smile. She trailed her fingertips along Bernie’s arm, and marvelled at the little gasp that broke free from her lips.

“Thank you,” she smiled, “you big idiot”.

Before she could say anything, Serena popped a biscuit into Bernie's mouth.

“Touch another one, and I’ll have you. Alright?”

Mutely, Bernie nodded.

2)

She’d felt Serena’s eyes on her all night, a physical presence that burned hotly against her skin. However every time she caught Serena’s eye, trying to figure out what she wanted, Serena only smiled widely at her before taking a long drink of wine as her eyes pointedly trailed across Bernie’s body. At first Bernie had thought she was drunk, that she was simply flirting out rightly with her because of the way the alcohol had skewed her judgement - was sure she would regret it in the morning. But, as she recalculated what Serena had actually had to drink, she realised she was only on her second glass of the night. 

As the noise inside the bar grew louder and more raucous, Bernie broke free from the crowd and headed outside, searching her pockets as she did so for a lighter. Relishing in the cool air and the blissful quiet, she went to take a cigarette from the packet but was stopped by a hand to the wrist.

“Bernie,” Serena husked lowly and Bernie felt her skin bristle as she drew her closer.

“Are you alright, Serena?” She went to turn, but found herself halted, pressed back against the wall.

“Close your eyes,” Serena told her softly, and Bernie did as she leant up against the wall outside Albie’s. She could feel the promise of rain in the air but wasn’t cold, could feel the heat of Serena’s body almost pressed against her. “Hold out your hands”.

Bernie held them out, palms spread and facing her as they trembled imperceptibly. For a moment all she could feel was the breeze tickling across her outstretched fingers, but then gasped aloud as her hands were guided down to Serena’s waist. Her fingers splayed against the silken fabric of her blouse before clutching hold of it, though kept her eyes closed. She felt the stretch of Serena’s body as she moved, her body sliding up against hers as she reached up on tiptoes. Serena’s breath played across her lips fast and expectantly, and her eyelids fluttered as she fought to keep them closed, to keep from looking at Serena when she was so close.

But everything fell away as she finally felt the press of Serena’s lips against hers. Hesitant at first, a soft touch, Bernie held her tighter and immediately felt Serena grow more assured as she kissed her harder.

Groaning, Bernie responded in kind as her teeth grazed against Serena’s bottom lip, hands moving now as one trailed to curl around her hip, the other cupping the back of her neck. As Serena gasped into her mouth, Bernie pressed into her, tongue brushing over hers and tasting the sweetness of the wine and an earthiness that could only belong to her.

Feeling Serena’s hand steel beneath her shirt, her fingers shockingly cold, Bernie broke away.

“Well that explains a lot,” she murmured, pressing her lips to Serena’s forehead as they fought to catch their breath.

“I’m glad you caught on,” Serena grinned, moving to lace their fingers together and relishing in the feel of it. She’d spent so long just watching her, catching a fleeting touch or lingering gaze, that it felt almost like a physical high to be able to touch her. “I was beginning to think I’d lost my touch”.

Barking a laugh, Bernie swept a hand along Serena’s jaw, slipping her fingers into her hair. “If there’s one thing you haven’t lost,” she kissed her again, a brief press of their lips, “it’s your touch”.

3)

“Time of death, 15:07”.

No sooner had they called it, Serena ran. Bernie couldn’t even catch hold of her hand, let alone stop her as she burst through the plastic sheeting of the trauma unit and headed for the ward doors.

“Fletch, can you just –“

“I’m sure Raf and I have it covered in here for a bit,” he nodded at Bernie as she looked longingly at the door, “go on”.

She shot him a grateful smile before running after Serena, almost careening into the doors when they didn’t release quick enough, wrenching them open with enough force that her elbow jarred. Swearing as she almost tripped over her own feet, she headed for the stairwell, pounding down them two at a time. She raced past patient and colleague alike, the image of Serena’s heartbroken face swimming in her memory, only serving to push her faster. She was sure she’d never be rid of the abject agony that had carved its place onto Serena’s features as they looked down at the bloodied teenager, the cardiac monitor drawing the flatness of his heartbeat as it whined pitilessly into the silence. She looked broken, worryingly so, and it reminded Bernie poignantly of the men she’d served with, the haunting emptiness to their eyes when they’d witnessed a friend die in their arms.

Bursting through the doors at ground level, Bernie caught sight of Serena at the Wyvern entrance and ran to catch up with her.

“Serena!” She called out to her, glad when she halted in her tracks and turned to face her. Bernie reached for her shoulder, wanting to ground herself in Serena’s presence and only hope her touch would do the same to her, but she immediately stepped back, a steeliness to her eyes. 

“Don’t,” Serena warned her as she held up her palm, “just don’t.”

Bernie moved forward to follow her but Serena stepped away once more.

“You couldn’t have done anything”.

Serena’s jaw twitched, and Bernie was sure she’d never seen Serena quite so angry. Even when she’d found out about her affair Serena had seemed more betrayed than angry but this, her flexing fisted fingers and dark, cold eyes were something new.

“He came here because we’re the best,” she spat out, and Bernie flinched though didn’t cower away. She needed Serena to know that she would be there, no matter how hard she pushed her away. “We were supposed to be the best but we just let him – he died!”

“There was nothing we could have done”.

“We could have tried harder!” Serena stepped forward forcefully, leaning into Bernie’s space as her fisted hand hovered between them, shaking. “We failed him, that – that boy”.

“I know you don’t mean that,” Bernie told her gently and watched as Serena snatched her hand back, clutching her arms tightly to her chest.

“Oh I don’t, do I?”

Breathing heavily, Bernie closed the space between them, grabbing hold of Serena’s forearms. “That boy wasn’t Arthur,” she said softly, holding Serena’s gaze. “You couldn’t have saved that boy, just like you couldn’t have saved Arthur. It wasn’t your fault”.

She knew she’d hit the root of the problem as Serena’s eyes swam with tears. For a moment it appeared as though she would melt into her, her eyes wide and her face a picture of vulnerability as she lingered on the verge of falling apart. But as though something had snapped within her, her face suddenly closed off once more as she stepped hastily away from Bernie’s grasp.

“Well if you think you know me so well, you’ll know to stay the hell out of my head,” she cast her a scathing look. “And not to bother following me”.

“Serena please, I just want to help you!” Bernie called after her imploringly, desperate for her not to walk away. She couldn’t bear seeing Serena like this, watching her throw up all her walls and subterfuge after having spent so long breaking them down.

But Serena had already turned away, heading out of the entrance doors and into the biting wind, her coat tails spilling out behind her. She didn’t look back.

...

Later that evening, alone and exhausted, Serena crouched before the small plot of her vegetable garden. Cursing as she pulled up a handful of leaves, dirt crumbling between her fingers as she dropped the useless foliage to the ground and instead knelt down, her thighs burning from the crouch she’d been sat in. Cold dampness sank through her work trousers, but regardless she dug her fingers into the dirt and searched. Her hands sunk deeper into the earth, throwing dirt out of the way as she did so, digging deeper until she found the carrots that she’d missed earlier on. She dragged them out, their roots trailing behind them, and threw them onto the grass that lined the neat little vegetable plot. For a moment she stared at them, the measly produce of months of work, and immediately sank her hands back into the dirt, clawing through it as if to search for more vegetation that she knew was not there. Her frustration and anger rose when all she came away with was mud caked under her fingernails, and as she fisted handfuls of dirt and threw it at the fence, she cried.

 She didn’t notice the rain until suddenly she was sheltered beneath an umbrella, the raindrops no longer soaking into her already sodden clothing. She was muddy and wet, shaking in the twilight of the night as she stared at her hands.

Someone knelt down next to her, knees squelching into the muddied remnants of the grass, the golf umbrella lowering until it was almost a tent surrounding them. A gentle hand rested on her shoulder, fingers squeezing lightly.

“Serena,” Bernie said gently, just loud enough to be heard over the rain. She didn’t say anything else, and Serena was grateful in part for her silence because she wasn’t sure what she’d say to any question posed to her. Serena closed her eyes as Bernie wrapped an arm around her shoulders and almost immediately collapsed into her side, sobbing for all she was worth.

“Shh,” Bernie murmured into her hair as Serena tucked her face into the crook of her neck. She was wet, and she was cold but Bernie clutched her closer, kissed her temple, the side of her face, her jaw. “It’s alright,” she whispered as she pressed another kiss below her ear, her hand coming up to stroke through Serena’s wet hair, “it’s alright”.

Serena fisted Bernie’s shirt in her hands, only vaguely aware as Bernie shifted to take off her coat and drape it over her shoulders. She sobbed until it hurt, her eyes screwed shut and her face still pressed into Bernie’s neck, not wanting to break away from the only proper safety she’d felt all day.

As the rain only fell harder, the air bitingly cold now, Bernie gently pulled Serena up off of the ground, clinging onto her as she steadied them both. Curling her arm around Serena’s shoulder, she guided them both inside, lingering only for a minute to prop the umbrella against the inside wall. Without a word, Bernie walked them both upstairs, treading carefully as Serena let her take her into the bathroom.

“Let’s get you out of these,” Bernie murmured, waiting for Serena’s nod of approval before quickly unbuttoning her blouse and peeling it off of her, then doing the same with her trousers. Throwing the sodden clothes in the direction of the linen basket, Bernie quickly wrapped Serena back up in a dressing gown, cocooning her in the warm fabric.

Almost carrying her into the bedroom, Bernie lay them both down softly on the bed, drawing Serena fully on top of her. Stroking one hand through her hair, Bernie felt Serena press her face into her neck, her nose cold against her throat. She could practically hear the warring thoughts teeming through Serena’s head, the clash of guilt and sorrow playing off of one another. 

“Close your eyes,” Bernie whispered into Serena’s hair as she pressed another kiss to her temple. “Just close your eyes. I’m here now”.

4)

Bernie stroked her thumb across the back of Serena’s knuckles as they sat on the low hanging brick wall that faced out to sea. They hadn’t journeyed far, only an hour or so out to the nearest beach, both of them fancying the time away from the city. The waves crashed noisily beneath them as the tide rolled in, the both of them watching the first tendrils of the sunset work across the sky in cascading colour.

“You don’t really appreciate all this when you’re in the city, do you?” Bernie said quietly, eyes fixed on a bobbing fishing boat that was anchored in the harbour. “It’s just so-“

“Peaceful,” Serena filled in for her, overturning their hands to link their fingers together as she leant into Bernie. The wind had picked up as the evening had progressed and whilst it wasn’t cold, there was a bite to the air. “It does make you think about packing it all in and escaping out here, doesn’t it?”

Bernie hummed, drawing Serena closer as she wrapped an arm around her to then press a kiss to her temple. “One day,” she murmured, her eyes slipping closed for a moment as she imagined it, the pair of them tucked away in a bungalow by the sea; arguing over the crossword puzzle as a fire blazed in the hearth, bundled in thick jumpers as they teased each other about grey hairs.

Feeling Serena shiver against her, Bernie hastily got up, carefully manoeuvring herself back onto the pavement.

“Where are you going?” Serena whined, turning her head to track Bernie’s movements, “just five more minutes-“

Shucking her own jacket, Bernie wrapped it around Serena’s shoulders before curling her arms around her from behind, resting her chin on the top of Serena’s head.

“Better?” She questioned as Serena sighed and leant back against her, tipping her head back to kiss the tip of her nose.

They stayed like that in silence as the sunset bloomed across the horizon, the waters reflecting the myriad of colours.

“Close your eyes,” Bernie whispered as she ducked her head down, lips against Serena’s ear, “and hold out your hands”. Immediately Serena did as she was told, though clung unsurely to one of Bernie’s hands.

“Don’t even think about trying to push me in,” she warned her, flexing her fingers around Bernie’s, “because you’ll be coming straight in after me”.

Bernie snorted a laugh, as her free hand rummaged through the pockets of her jacket, made slightly harder by how it was wrapped around Serena. Victoriously she pulled the object free.

“Eyes closed?”

“Yes Major,” Serena grumbled at her, cupping her hands out in front of her as she felt Bernie reach over her shoulder.

Assured that Serena had a good hold of it, Bernie moved back once again.

“Ok, open them”.

Serena remained silent as she considered the oblong box in her palms before thumbing open the catch. Her breath caught.

“Bernie,” she murmured as she ran her thumb over the diamond drop necklace that was settled into the boxes silken inlay. She turned to face her sharply, eyes searching her partners face. “Bernie, it’s too much-“

Pressing a finger to Serena’s lips, Bernie shook her head. “Do you like it?”

“I love it,” Serena assured her, words pulsing out around Bernie’s digit, “it’s beautiful”.

“Then that’s all that matters,” she reached around, plucking the necklace carefully from the box. Slowly she strung it around Serena’s throat before clasping it together, dropping a kiss to the nape of her neck. The sun spilt out around them, haloing Serena and Bernie stooped to brush her lips against Serena’s, squeezing her arms around her. The jacket around her shoulders fluttered in the breeze.

5)

“Close your eyes”.

Bernie blinked up at her, chuckling as Serena’s brow wrinkled in annoyance when she didn’t.

“I’m waiting for you to start serenading me,” Bernie teased, shifting against the sofa as she tipped her head back, but closed her eyes when Serena pouted at her. Automatically she reached out for Serena’s hands, smiled as she felt their fingers slide together.

“Don’t hold your breath,” Serena laughed as she crouched down in front of Bernie, settling in front of her knees, gently letting go of Bernie’s hands. Peering up at her, she wasn’t entirely sure how she’d come to be so lucky as to find Bernie, a woman who was endlessly frustrating but infinitely loyal to her. She’d never fallen so hard and fast for someone in her life, drawn to Bernie like she was the only light in a never ending darkness. “You don’t even know who sang that song”.

“I do!” Bernie growled out hurtfully, fingers searching to swat at Serena but instead finding empty space.

“Oh yes? Go on then, surprise me”. Serena snorted as Bernie’s face went blank before her eyebrows furrowed, biting her lip as she considered her answer.

“The Kinks?”

Serena stroked her fingers along Bernie’s thigh as she rolled her eyes. “You’re useless aren’t you? You’re two decades out”. Her fingers trailed along to Bernie’s knees, resting there to squeeze playfully. “Try the 80s”.

“Can I open my eyes yet?”

“Not until you get the question right”.

Bernie flopped further back into the sofa cushions, huffing a sigh. Folding her arms petulantly across her chest, Serena just knew that she was throwing her dirtiest look.  “Well we could be here all night then. I hope you’re comfortable”.

“Oh come on, Bern,” Serena said imploringly as she took her limp hands, bringing them up against her cheeks. Swallowing down her pride, she struck up the first line of the song. “Close your eyes –“

“Oh god-“

“Give me your hand, darling”.

Bernie’s fingers slipped from her grasp to instead hurriedly cover Serena’s mouth. “You singing awfully to me is not helping matters”.

“Why do I put up with you?” She muttered against Bernie’s palm, before drawing it away from her mouth to instead place the small object into her hand. Closing her fingers over Bernie’s, she felt the nervousness that had fallen away earlier return with vengeance. “It’s the Bangles, Bernie. The Bangles”. Her voice warbled.

“I knew that”.

“No you didn’t,” Serena pressed a kiss to her wrist, “but we’ll argue about that later. Ok, now open your eyes”.

Bernie’s eyes fluttered open, bleary for a moment in the brightness of the room before focusing on Serena who crouched at her feet. She grinned, her smile spreading impishly up to her eyes.

“Is this my surprise?” She joked, spreading her legs so that Serena settled between them, knees coming in to trap Serena against her.

Serena prodded her in the stomach.

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” she growled, but then grinning, “maybe later, if you’re lucky”.

Opening her hand, suddenly aware of the cold metal object, Bernie peered down at her own palm and the cheeky smile she had been wearing slipped. She felt the tears build quickly behind her eyes, and she had to swallow harshly for the next word to come out of her throat.

“Serena-“

“Will you?” Serena struggled to her knees, eyes tracking across Bernie’s face worriedly, trying to gage what she was thinking. She had spent weeks considering the idea, going over it again and again in her head, afraid that she was moving too quickly, that Bernie would run away from her.

Bernie held the key between her thumb and forefinger, considering it beneath the light. “Really?”

“Well I am getting fed up of answering the door every five minutes for you,” Serena prodded lightly, but then more seriously, “move in with me?”

Unable to speak, Bernie hauled Serena up and into her lap, gripping hold of her hips as Serena straddled her. Kissing her once, twice three times, she cupped Serena’s face in her hands, thumbs brushing against her cheekbones.

“God yes,” she murmured, leaning in once again to kiss her, suddenly electrified with an energy that could only be down to pure, unadulterated happiness. “Yes, yes, yes”.

 

…

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the Holby City characters.


End file.
